If I was the inventor of healing, I would have made it linear, I can tell you that much.

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They expect me to work at work.

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Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

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Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

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You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

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I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

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Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

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Me gasping and flipping off the vultures as they circle above the running track.

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Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

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Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

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The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.