Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Shared recently on Discord:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Live now on WeChat:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Spotted on Discord:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Spotted on X:

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making all of the food that is unhealthy for you taste so good.

Trending via WeChat:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Just landed via YouTube:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Just shared via Instagram:

They’re making me get out of bed.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You’re an atheist? Well, I don’t believe you. See how you like it.

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Don't worry, with my trusty tweezers, you'll be the smoothest sleeper in the ICU 😂💤🔍

chin, chin hair, coma, ever, funny request, hair, humor, please, pluck, request

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

0

4 months ago

attraction, dating, deserve, desire, handle, honesty, humor, love, me, personality, relationship, worst
“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

0

2 months ago

anatomy, department, drama, grey’s, Grey’s Anatomy, hospital, hr, HR department, humor, medical, medical drama, parody, perspective, television, workplace
I want this laziness removed from my body.

0

4 months ago

body, desire, humor, i, laziness, motivation, procrastination, want
It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

0

2 months ago

cold, gangster, humor, i, outside, pants, pull, saw, stiff, walk, winter
Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

0

2 months ago

animal, attitude, bastards, bet, butterfly, comedy, humor, insect, irony, nature, nice, real, sarcasm, surprise
Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

0

2 months ago

communication, education, first grade, grade, handwriting, kid, kids, note, parenting, stress, teacher

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I might not be able to speak another language but I can speak English slower!

90 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

64 shares on Discord this month:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

46 shares on Threads this month:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I hate when people set alarms and it wakes up everybody except for them.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

My car spider built a web across my steering wheel and now I can’t go anywhere.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Just shared via Reddit:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Your DM doesn’t match the Bible quote in your bio. Uh-oh.

Seen just now on Facebook:

When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

I want this laziness removed from my body.

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Have to write a note to my kid’s first grade teacher, and now I’m stressed out about my handwriting.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨