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Commentary:
"Watch out when I'm too quiet – I'm either plotting my grand escape 🏃‍♂️ or dreaming up your demise with a sprinkle of sugar on top 🍭. Just another day in the life of a silent mastermind! 😈 #PlotTwist"

demise, escape, humor, planning, process, quiet, rest, sweet, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

1 month ago
brain, closing, eye, flash, humor, just, last, last time, life, tab, time
They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

1 month ago
curiosity, house, humor, inside, invasion, just, let, me, perspective, should
Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

5 months ago
BBL, body, body modification, cosmetic, cosmetic surgery, experience, humor, life, modification, real, reality, seeing, surgery, surprise
My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

1 month ago
communication, conflict, humor, i, insomnia, relationship, schedule, sleep, sleep schedule, speaking, terms, tiredness
Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

1 month ago
Antarctica, continents, critique, explain, explanation, humor, i, talk, today, underperformance, want, yourself
Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

1 month ago
concern, exercise, heat, humor, jogging, okay, people, seriously, shout, shout out, sure

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Just shared via Telegram:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Making waves on X:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Spotted on Twitch:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

A dinosaur as a pet would solve so many problems. Mainly, people problems.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’m so old and have never even met a woman named Jolene. I’d really like to find her, though. She can have my man.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I already know how it will end. One of my children will unplug my life support to charge their phone.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Got a botched circumcision, now my willy wonka.

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

An entire generation is currently studying for jobs that will not exist.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough.

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If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

They should let me go inside everyones house just to see.

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Shout out to people jogging in this heat, no, seriously, shout out to make sure they’re okay.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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