Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Watch out when I'm too quiet – I'm either plotting my grand escape 🏃‍♂️ or dreaming up your demise with a sprinkle of sugar on top 🍭. Just another day in the life of a silent mastermind! 😈 #PlotTwist"

demise, escape, humor, planning, process, quiet, rest, sweet, too

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Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

24 shares on TikTok this month:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

94 shares on Threads this month:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

13 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

43 shares on X this month:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

27 shares on Slack this month:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

95 shares on X this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

“I have a date with destiny.” Yeah well, I’m in a long-term relationship with the consequences of my actions.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Just shared via Discord:

One of the voices in my head brought up an excellent point, so obviously he had to go.

Seen just now on Discord:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Just landed via Telegram:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Live now on X:

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

Just shared via Reddit:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

If you compliment me, my glasses fog up.

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

I know you miss me. The tarot lady on TikTok just told me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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