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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I used to have a great future in my past.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Breaking via Telegram:

No, babe, your 10-minute incremental alarms starting a full hour before you actually get up only make me love you more.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Just shared via Discord:

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

Going viral on X:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Going viral on Reddit:

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

1 month ago

Playful quote about winter frustration and holiday cheer reactivation.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like Mother Nature can't decide between winter and spring, but hey, why not enjoy the holiday spirit all year round? 🎄❄️ Who needs a Christmas in July when you can have Christmas in March? 🤣 #MotherNatureMakeUpYourMind"

back, Christmas, cold, humor, put, season, time, tree, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on X this month:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

36 shares on Instagram this month:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

69 shares on Threads this month:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when someone asks me what I did yesterday. I don’t know. Breathed a lot, probably got mad at something … sighed heavily. The list goes on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

The gossip in my town is faster than the Wi-Fi.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t freak out until I see the Buddhists freaking out.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Thank you for being friends with me. Baffling decision, but thank you.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Shared recently on Slack:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Spotted on Messenger:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Spotted on Messenger:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Just landed via YouTube:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Going bananas on Threads:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Making waves on YouTube:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Live now on YouTube:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

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