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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Horror movies have ruined the joy of skinny-dipping for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,384

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Spotted on Twitch:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

Just shared via Threads:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Going viral on Slack:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Spotted on Facebook:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Making waves on Threads:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Spotted on TikTok:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

2 weeks ago

Clever, humorous text questioning if writing porn balances brain damage from porn consumption.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That must be why my brain keeps asking for plot twists 🍆✍️🧠

brain, creativity, damage, development, even, humor, joke, porn, wordplay, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Threads this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

Water bottle leaking in your bag is a top 10 worst experience.

86 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

19 shares on Slack this month:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

44 shares on X this month:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can be having the nicest day and then you have to print something and you know your day is about to fall apart real fast.

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sure I collect antiques, if you count the late-century spices in my pantry.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,685

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I hate when people are outside when I’m trying to parallel park. I need some privacy.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

All day I think about sleep but when it’s time to go to bed I don’t wanna.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Discord:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

Freshly posted on X:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Just landed via TikTok:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Going viral on Reddit:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Just landed via X:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Just landed via Facebook:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

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