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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

It’s like no one in my family appreciates that I stayed up all night overthinking for them.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Each to their own!” Translation: You’re wrong, but never mind.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Breaking via Reddit:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Every time I do something stupid, my dad stares at my mom like he wants a refund.

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

3 months ago

0

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
That must be why my brain keeps asking for plot twists 🍆✍️🧠

brain, creativity, damage, development, even, humor, joke, porn, wordplay, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

0

2 months ago

fun, grandparent, help, kids, mischief, own, stupid, stupid things, teach, things, think, trouble
Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

0

2 months ago

advice, fashion, home, hoodie, humor, shit, strings, together, uneven
Blocking him isn’t enough. I need to watch his hairline recede.

0

5 months ago

blocking, breakup, enough, hairline, humor, i, media, need, observation, recede, revenge, social, social media, watch
Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

0

2 months ago

again, caught, cons, humor, husband, me, observation, pros, relationship, staring
Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

0

2 months ago

8K, bit, clarity, dolby, Dolby Vision, fuzzy, humor, memory, nostalgia, regrets, technology, vision
The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

0

2 months ago

always, confidence, humor, i, know, last, laugh, laughter, me, mischievous, oh, personality, playful, sarcasm, self-assured, thing, witty, yes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on X this month:

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

41 shares on Slack this month:

Women are like apples; I like biting them.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

We’re so close to “Let’s circle back next year” season, I can taste it.

77 shares on Messenger this month:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

67 shares on Threads this month:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nosferatu implies the existence of a Yesferatu.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I came up with my passwords when I was 12, and never looked back.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,705

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Spotted on X:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Trending via Instagram:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this cigarette just now.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Just landed via Discord:

Some people’s laughs are funnier than the joke.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Making waves on Facebook:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Spotted on WeChat:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

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