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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

My motivation and me: It’s complicated.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Quality women really do attract everyone. A bright light always attracts all types of bugs.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

We can do things one of two ways. My way or my other way.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I love it when God gives me money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Just landed via Pinterest:

It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Spotted on Discord:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Breaking via Twitch:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Just shared via Telegram:

I’m running out of people I like.

Just shared via Telegram:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Just shared via Reddit:

A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

2 months ago

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"When they realize you're not coming back, cue the plot twist they'll talk about for ages! 🍿🎬 #DramaQueenExit"

choice, drama, dramatic, empowerment, exit, finale, humor, independence, leave, Netflix, option, relationship, season, self-respect, treat

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Every time I watch “The Godfather”, I notice some new detail (they’re Italian???).

85 shares on Threads this month:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

35 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then you love a boomerang.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

57 shares on Slack this month:

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Spotted on TikTok:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Just shared via Threads:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Spotted on YouTube:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Going viral on Facebook:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

It amazes me how many battles in the first two years of the Civil War were decided by which side woke up the earliest.

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside too.

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨