Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

If a ham is allowed to spiral then so am I.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

My company promotes diversity. We’d never hire twins.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

Having to pay to read scientific and scholarly articles is a really disgusting and pathetic practice.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Trending via Facebook:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

Just landed via Telegram:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Going viral on Snapchat:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Going bananas on Discord:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Broadcasted on Slack:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Trending via Snapchat:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll be seeing you at the gates of Hogwarts then! 🎓📚✨

better, breakup, education, focus, Harvard, humor, i, relationship, school

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

0

2 months ago

activity, before, coworkers, fun, fun activity, hand, hand stamper, home, humor, i, night, own, prank, stamper, think, workplace, workplace humor
I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

0

2 months ago

admiration, attraction, beautiful, beautiful woman, car, compliment, fire, flattery, humor, i, inside, love, woman
I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

0

5 months ago

am, authenticity, bullshit, hate, honesty, humor, i, just, love, me, personality, relationship, sarcasm, self-awareness, someone, through, trust, want
It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

0

2 months ago

actors, anyone, attractive, let, normal, perfectly, stop, want, watch
Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

0

2 months ago

disappearance, domestic, domestic life, ever, house, humor, idea, life, messy, messy house, police, signs, signs of struggle, struggle
There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

0

2 months ago

effect, humor, i, joke, men, migraine, relationship, self-deprecation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on WeChat this month:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

57 shares on Facebook this month:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Tai Chi is so crazy because it’s like throwing a slow motion tantrum.

78 shares on X this month:

Got a job rejection, saw the company post the same job again, so I applied again. I decide when we’re done.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

23 shares on Threads this month:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Outlook just asked me if I’m “enjoying” Microsoft Outlook. As if it’s not the Torment Portal.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Why does the dentist have to take an x-ray of my teeth? They right there, bro!

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Telegram:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Live now on YouTube:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Shared recently on Slack:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.

Shared recently on Threads:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Spotted on TikTok:

I’ve started eating healthier and exercising if you’re wondering why I’m in such a crappy mood all of a sudden.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

I love when I see a really beautiful car, and I look inside, and it’s a beautiful woman. That’s fire.

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Our house is so messy that if we ever disappeared, the police would have no idea if there were “signs of a struggle”.

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨