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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Welcome to downtown where the crosswalk signals are merely suggestions and you hope the puddles are water.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Back in my day, we had to walk to the TV to change the channel. Uphill, both ways!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The smarter we make the A.I., the less it wants to do our jobs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,477

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Shared recently on Discord:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Going viral on Telegram:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Spotted on Discord:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Just landed via YouTube:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Just landed via Slack:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Just landed via X:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll be seeing you at the gates of Hogwarts then! 🎓📚✨

better, breakup, education, focus, Harvard, humor, i, relationship, school

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

0

2 months ago

apology, distraction, driving, humor, posts, sorry, texting, texting while driving, typo, while
Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

0

2 months ago

common, common sense, food, fry, girl, humor, just, never, relationship, sense, snack
Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

0

2 months ago

before, daily, daily routine, day, draw, etiquette, every, everyone, exaggeration, goodbye, humor, i, interaction, joke, little, me, routine, sarcasm, say, social, social etiquette, social interaction, tick, work, workplace, workplace humor
I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

0

4 months ago

craft, gift, hat, humor, i, joke, knit, knitting, know, tinfoil, tinfoil hat
Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

0

2 months ago

drinking, family, feed, humor, i, night, night out, owner, pub, responsibility, stop, tonight, wanted
On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

0

2 months ago

adventure, anything, fantasy, humor, journey, Mordor, need, nerd, quest

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Threads this month:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Why count sheep when I can count my troubles?

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Quitting my job to rock around the Christmas tree.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

44 shares on Slack this month:

The Cranberries. Great band name. You pick a fruit and you get to work.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

32 shares on Slack this month:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I was unhinged way before it was cool.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Twitter is a weapon of mass distraction.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Drinking at home is convenient, sure, but it’s nothing like the experience of leaving the pub feeling fifty bucks lighter.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Breaking via Discord:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Trending via TikTok:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

They’re bluffing when they say you can still get knocked off the nice list this late in the game. Santa’s been delivering gifts in Japan for hours by now; that list is locked. Do whatever you want.

Shared recently on Telegram:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Live now on Telegram:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry if my posts have any typos, it’s because I’m driving.

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨