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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,821

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Just landed via Messenger:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Spotted on Messenger:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Going viral on X:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

5 days ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Guess I'll be seeing you at the gates of Hogwarts then! 🎓📚✨

better, breakup, education, focus, Harvard, humor, i, relationship, school

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

1 month ago
activity, couch, door, fun, fun activity, humor, irony, outdoor, struggle, sun, want
If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

1 month ago
appearance, astrology, beauty, compliment, humor, interaction, means, pretty, social, social interaction, talk, talking
When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

1 month ago
actually, depression, easy, expectation, expectation vs reality, frustration, humor, lemon, reality, something, stress, thought, vs, wordplay
If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

1 month ago
activity, baby, beach, beach activity, beautiful, boyfriend, compliment, digging, good, hole, humor, i, ID, job, playful, relationship, sarcastic, watch
Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

1 month ago
drinking, hangover, humor, lesson, me, nightlife, party, regret, self-reflection, teach
“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

1 month ago
AI, coming, coworkers, drunk, Fridays, harassment, humor, ID, jobs, show, technology, work, workplace

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Spotted on Twitch:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Just landed via YouTube:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Trending via Discord:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Trending via WhatsApp:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

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Activity Log ✨

If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Hot girl in her 20s: It’s so weird, but I keep getting lucky, and everything works out in my favor.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

I actually check my emails every day in hopes I’m going to get some life-changing news someday.

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Which one are you, the liar or the loser?

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on a flight from LA to Tokyo.

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

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If we breakup because you “wanna focus on school,” I better see you in Harvard.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

“AI is coming for your jobs”. I’d like to see AI show up drunk on Fridays and sexually harass my coworkers.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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