Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I always do my best sleeping in the 10 minutes before my alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Breaking via Slack:

Will mosquitoes ever develop a pizza obsession and end their pursuit of human blood?

Just landed via Discord:

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Going viral on Twitch:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Trending via YouTube:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Just shared via Facebook:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Shared recently on Slack:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Making waves on Facebook:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs an umbrella when you've got SPF armor? 🌞☔️ Rain, rain, go away, sunscreen is here to stay! 💪😎"

activity, humor, outdoor, outdoor activity, protection, rain, sun, sun protection, sunscreen, weather

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

0

2 months ago

association, color, color association, comparison, explain, flavor, flavor comparison, grape, grape flavor, grape soda, humor, humor in taste, i, know, perception, purple, sensory, sensory perception, soda, taste
I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

0

2 months ago

change, coping, divorce, drink, humor, i, life, life change, marriage, realization, relationship, thought
Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

0

2 months ago

child, harmonica, humor, instructions, instrument, joke, kid, missing, misunderstanding, musical, musical instrument, parenting, work
We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

0

2 months ago

being, boundary, humor, me, mean, put, sarcasm, self-defense, should, tariff, wit
I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

0

2 months ago

activity, diving, documentary, fear, humor, i, learn, learning, music, orchestral, orchestral music, scuba, scuba diving, underwater, want
Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

0

2 months ago

cat, cool, humor, i, intrusion, just, leave, life, never, pet, relationship, stray, stray cat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Instagram this month:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

11 shares on Threads this month:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

54 shares on Slack this month:

I will play my favorite song until the artist comes out of my phone to ask for water.

57 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Oh, Amazon, no. Please do not tell me how many packages I had delivered this year; that is none of my business.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Breaking via Slack:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Making waves on Reddit:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Just shared via Threads:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Shared recently on X:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Just landed via Reddit:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨