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🌑💀 Feeling lonely? Just dim those lights and cue up a horror movie! Suddenly, you'll have some new spooky pals to keep you company. Who needs human friends when you've got terrifying monsters on the screen?! 🎬👻

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38 shares on Facebook this month:

I want someone to care for me as much as Netflix cares if someone has logged into my account from another device.

25 shares on Instagram this month:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

60 shares on X this month:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

The most surprising part of adulthood is parenting your parents.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

68 shares on TikTok this month:

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I ran out of toilet paper so I had to start using old newspapers. The Times are rough.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

January is the Monday of the year.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Just landed via Discord:

Wine drunk doesn’t even make itself known. You’re just relaxed, and then, all of a sudden, you feel sexier.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Going viral on Facebook:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Spotted on Slack:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her “can I have more coffee?” two minutes later.

Just landed via Snapchat:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

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Activity Log ✨

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Totally unrealistic movie title: “The Postman Always Rings Twice”. We all know that these guys only ring once and then leave.

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨