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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 4 days until Christmas.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here hating myself more.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Discord:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Trending via Messenger:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

Trending via YouTube:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Trending via Instagram:

There are no laws against pineapples on pizza.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Making waves on Slack:

I never forget to eat, but I do eat to forget.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Witty quote about loneliness and horror movies with a playful, humorous vibe.
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Commentary:
🌑💀 Feeling lonely? Just dim those lights and cue up a horror movie! Suddenly, you'll have some new spooky pals to keep you company. Who needs human friends when you've got terrifying monsters on the screen?! 🎬👻

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is cigarette for the eyes.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

53 shares on X this month:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

30 shares on Instagram this month:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is a prime example why most of us shouldn’t be left unsupervised.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband is trying to convince me that we’re in a situationship. “The situation is that we live in the same house and love each other.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please make it study.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

What are some fun beginner crimes for someone getting into lawlessness?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Seen just now on Discord:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Breaking via Telegram:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Live now on X:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Live now on WeChat:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Making waves on YouTube:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Just shared via X:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

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