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Commentary:
"Let's cheers to those brave souls taking on Dry January! 🥂 Just remember, a sober socialite is like a unicorn – rarely seen and possibly mythical. 🦄 #DryJanuaryDrama"

alcohol, boring, choice, doing, dry, Dry January, even, humor, interaction, January, keep, lifestyle, nobody, personal, personal choice, self-control, social, social interaction, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

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2 months ago

aliens, discover, extraterrestrial, fear, hope, humor, i, life, lunatics, planets
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

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2 months ago

embrace, hug, humor, i, joke, marriage, me, mistake, mistakes, relationship, told, wife
How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

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2 months ago

aid, alphabet, alphabet song, am, childhood, childhood habit, choice, choices, count, counting, decision, decision making, finger, finger counting, fingers, habit, i, learning, learning method, letter, life, life choice, making, memory, memory aid, method, next, sing, song, still, whole
There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

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2 months ago

Amazon, away, being, childhood, days, delivery, different, doors, driver, game, humor, knocking, names, play, running, used
It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

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2 months ago

actual, after, always, appetite, before, dinner, food, humor, hunger, hungry, kids, mealtime, never, right
Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

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2 months ago

change, changing, funny observation, humor, layout, observation, rap, songs, stores

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

100 shares on X this month:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

94 shares on Slack this month:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

12 shares on Instagram this month:

I will not hesitate to use dark magic on you.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

You don’t see guys traveling around on those seesaw-type push carts on railroad tracks anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

Trending via TikTok:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Making waves on Threads:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Going viral on Reddit:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Going bananas on Slack:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Just landed via Discord:

In my house the roles are reversed cause my kids tell me to turn my music down.

Seen just now on X:

Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Spotted on Messenger:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Spotted on X:

The hottest part of sex is when I take off my glasses and put them in a safe place.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Not enough rap songs about stores suddenly changing their layout.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨