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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

May the hardest part of your day be getting the jeans over your butt.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I love routine. Until I’m bored, then I love excitement. Until I’m overwhelmed, then I love routine.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

I often got called “an old soul” and such like by adults when I was a child. I think this was a kind way of saying I was a sad little freak.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

No matter how busy I am, I still find time to waste on Twitter.

Spotted on Facebook:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Spotted on TikTok:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Freshly posted on Slack:

In honor of Charles Dickens, I will also be poor this Christmas.

Seen just now on X:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Job market so bad, I started following my dreams.

Just landed via Telegram:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Going viral on X:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Clearly perfecting my 'drop it like it's lukewarm' technique! 😅🔥🍕"

attitude, confidence, dance, dance move, doing, dropping, fun, hell, hot, humor, lifestyle, move, party

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, embarrassment, fly, friendship, humor, joke, let, man, me, moment
A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

0

2 months ago

absurdity, ask, face, humor, information, moth, nowhere, question, randomness, surprise
Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

0

2 months ago

Christmas, day, gift, Guantanamo, heart, humor, i, irony, last, next, song
I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

0

2 months ago

confidence, humor, i, irony, need, praise, sarcasm, self-esteem, self-worth, someone, validation
Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

0

2 months ago

1900s, accidentally, calorie, calorie deficit, deficit, diet, everyone, food, humor, i, knows, loss, mistake, old fashioned, old-fashioned phrase, phrase, said, weight, weight loss
Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

0

1 month ago

confidence, cooler, coolness, dating, ever, humor, man, maybe, met, personality, problem, relationship, self-esteem

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t stop thinking about how a tanning bed really turns you into the human version of a gas station hot dog.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

29 shares on Discord this month:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This December is not Decembering like the other Decembers Decembered.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

78 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

Trending via WeChat:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Just shared via Twitch:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

Spotted on X:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Accidentally said I was on a diet instead of in a calorie deficit, and now everyone knows I’m from the 1900s.

Maybe the problem is that I’m cooler than any man I’ve ever met.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨