Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

We were supposed to have flying cars and other cool stuff, but instead we have AI videos showing Michael Jackson eat at McDonald’s.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Tornados are just a bunch of ghosts fighting over a cow.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

58 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,327

Funny Quotes Topics

17,448

Funny Quotes Images

15,327

Jan 2, 2026

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Seen just now on X:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Me, after skipping the tutorial: how the hell do you play this game?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Breaking via Discord:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Live now on Instagram:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Spending the day with my mom and her mom, just observing the patterns.

Just landed via Facebook:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Live now on Reddit:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

2 months ago

0

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Haha, sounds like your brain and my humor are on the same mischievous page! 😂 Sometimes, our thoughts need a serious intervention—maybe a comedy therapist? 🎭🤪 Just remember, laughter is the best medicine… unless you're thinking of eating a jar of pickles at midnight—then you might need real help! 🥒😅

awkward, health, help, humor, jokes, mental, mental health, mental health humor, need, professional, professional help, thinking, thoughts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thinking of starting a religion around cheese.

0

5 months ago

around, cheese, dairy, food, food idea, funny thought, humor, idea, joke, religion, starting, thinking, thought
No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, doing, employment, gap, humor, interview, job, job interview, me, moment, question, resume, tell
I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

0

2 months ago

around, bear, casual, eat, eating, friends, hang, hanging, hanging out, humor, i, just, pantsless, pooh, Pooh Bear, relaxed, want
Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

0

5 months ago

blacksmith, cold, cold water, cooking, feel, frying, frying pan, hot, hot pan, humor, kitchen, me, metaphor, pan, putting, running, sink, water
Just because you are unique, doesn’t mean you are useful.

0

2 months ago

humor, individuality, irony, just, self-awarenes, unique, useful
One of the most amazing things in nature is that the basketball hoop is the perfect size to fit a basketball through.

0

2 months ago

amazing, amazing fact, basketball, fact, fit, hoop, humor, nature, observation, perfect, perfect fit, size, sports, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Slack this month:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

84 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green, if you’re wondering how I’m doing today.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Twitter is the only place you argue with CEOs and heads of states while sleeping in the kitchen.

65 shares on X this month:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

53 shares on YouTube this month:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

76 shares on Telegram this month:

For my next trick, I’ll watch a two-hour movie in four.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Concert tickets should be 75% off if the artist is really super special to you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

58 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,327

Funny Quotes Topics

17,448

Funny Quotes Images

15,327

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,511

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Sober in a taxi: Please. Stop talking to me. Drunk in a taxi: … And that, Mick, is why I’m emotionally unavailable, I suppose.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Neighbors are fighting. Can I knock on the wall and ask them to speak up so I know whose side I’m on?

Just landed via Facebook:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The most important meal of the day is the next one.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Spotted on Instagram:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

Shared recently on Discord:

Oh, so ChatGPT is gonna tell me about me? Seems gossipy.

Going viral on Messenger:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Just landed via Telegram:

Do you mind if I wear my black T-shirt covered in pet hair to your fine dining establishment?

Live now on YouTube:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

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