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Haha, sounds like your brain and my humor are on the same mischievous page! 😂 Sometimes, our thoughts need a serious intervention—maybe a comedy therapist? 🎭🤪 Just remember, laughter is the best medicine… unless you're thinking of eating a jar of pickles at midnight—then you might need real help! 🥒😅

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

1 month ago
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She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

5 months ago
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Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

1 month ago
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Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

1 month ago
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I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

2 months ago
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Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

1 month ago
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

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The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

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Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

You’re acting up? Right before Santa Claus comes to town? Unbelievable.

Making waves on TikTok:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, I’d love it. I don’t know what my cat’s problem is.

Trending via Threads:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you think my posts are ridiculous, you should see some of my life choices.

Trending via Twitch:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

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Activity Log ✨

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Car naps hit different, especially when you are the one driving.

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

When a documentary starts with an old person going, ‘We’re a small town, we didn’t lock our doors at night,’ oh, we’re gonna find out what made them start.

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Your secret is safe with me and my sister.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Toothpaste sure knows how to ruin whatever you’re drinking.

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Anytime I switch deodorants, it’s like a sexy stranger is following me around all day.

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If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Unfortunately, free coffee in the office will never hit like a $9 iced latte will.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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