I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

I want the job where I push scared skydivers out of planes.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?