Commentary:
Simultaneous handshakes and name amnesia – my ultimate party trick! 🤝😅
12 Funny shake quotes
Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.
Commentary:
"Note to self: If I shake my head any harder, it might just unscrew! 🤔🤣 #SelfDisapprovalChamp"
The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.
Commentary:
🦁 "When you're the king of the jungle, a little sprinkle is just extra seasoning! 👑💦"
Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”
If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.
Commentary:
Wow, Twitter should come with a warning label: "Caution! May result in unintentional exercise from vigorous head shaking 🤯💪😂 #TwitterWorkout"
I’ll be like “I’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.
Commentary:
When someone asks how you’re doing and you respond with "I’m fine" while your leg is having its own NASCAR race under the table 🦵💨 #SpeedDemon #CantStopWontStop
Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.
Commentary:
"Driving a newer car is like realizing you can't find the 'Shake on Highway' setting – maybe it's a feature they only include in vintage models? 🤔🚗 #LostInTechnology"
If I had a boyfriend, I’d put him in a snow globe and shake it really hard.
Commentary:
"Put him in a snow globe and shake away! Just make sure he doesn't turn into a snowman ⛄️. Love is a whirlwind, but maybe not that literally! 🤣💑"
Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.
Commentary:
"From 'I'm starting the year healthy and strong!' to 'Syrup = Vegetable logic level: expert' in just 20 days 🥑🍁🥞 #NewYearResolutionsGoneWild"
My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.
Commentary:
"Looks like your Discman was too delicate to handle your need for speed! 🏃♂️🎧 Maybe it was just trying to stay 'un-shaken, not stirred' like a true secret agent."