Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Oh dear, watch out for those sneaky donuts! 🍩🐘 Looks like someone's dodging the elephant-sized truth with a bit of sugary distraction. Time to reevaluate the snack choices before becoming part of the jungle 🌳!

away, being, donut, donuts, elephant, food, humor, joke, room, self-deprecation, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

0

2 months ago

6, away, distance, feet, humor, i, kind, miss, pandemic, people, social, space
Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

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2 months ago

age, back, back pain, body, humor, jokes, pain, perspective, relatability, still, young, youth
1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

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2 months ago

1994, 2024, 30, anticipation, change, disappointment, future, God, humor, i, irony, time, wait, world
Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

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2 months ago

carey, celebration, Christmas, conception, everyone, humor, immaculate, immaculate conception, knows, mariah, Mariah Carey
If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

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2 months ago

chores, climbing, everest, family, humor, i, laundry, mount, Mount Everest, perspective, pile, top, weekly
Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

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2 months ago

cultural, cultural reference, dot, everything, girl, honesty, humor, indian, Indian girl, lie, recording, red, red dot, reference

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I look stable, but I talk to animals, and wait for them to reply.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

If I were you, I would rather be me.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

39 shares on Threads this month:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

79 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At a certain age, all you really want is a good mattress.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

87 shares on Instagram this month:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

As a retiree, I have two pairs of pajamas. Bedtime and daytime. Sometimes I get them confused.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I lost my appetite for doing work. If you find it, you can keep it.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Let’s just call ourselves divorced now and skip the stressful, expensive bit in the middle.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Making waves on Twitch:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Trending via Reddit:

I love being a pretty woman because it widens the threshold for cringe-worthy things I can say.

Live now on TikTok:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Live now on Facebook:

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to pull all nighters.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I highly recommend having hobbies. It distracts you from things like falling in love.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Shared recently on Threads:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨