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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has downloaded:

This Monday could have been an email.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: youโ€™re not dying, itโ€™s just Thursday.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Pilot is one of the few jobs where you can get fired for going above and beyond.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has viewed:

Having a teenager is fun because the voice in my head that questions everything I do now has a friend.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Iโ€™m the ick in fantastic.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Iโ€™ll find a cell mate before Iโ€™ll ever find a soulmate.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Iโ€™m bringing back โ€œhold your horsesโ€ and nobody can stop me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Going viral on Pinterest:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens donโ€™t recognize them.

Just shared via Slack:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Live now on Reddit:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Born to say โ€œWho the hell raised you to be this stupid.โ€ Forced to work in groups.

Trending via Twitch:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Trending via Reddit:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Trending via Messenger:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasnโ€™t for them.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Just landed via YouTube:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask โ€œis it in yet?โ€

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.
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Commentary:
"Forever young at heart, but my joints got the senior discount! ๐Ÿง’๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿง“๐Ÿ˜‚"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ด๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

โ€œCleanโ€ my shower? Then what? Give my car a ride into town?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ง has copied:

If youโ€™re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has downloaded:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has downloaded:

Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on WeChat:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Seen just now on X:

I thought the noise my husbandโ€™s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Breaking via Instagram:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive lifeโ€™s daily bullshit.

Just shared via Discord:

Venn diagrams. You either love โ€˜em or you hate โ€˜em. Or youโ€™re somewhere in the middle.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Shared recently on Messenger:

After you do your laundry, you should be allowed to get in the dryer and tumble for a little. No charge.

Just landed via WeChat:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Trending via Discord:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

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