Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you hear the newest slang, and you decide that you don’t care enough to know what it means.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,735

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Just landed via WeChat:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Trending via WeChat:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Seen just now on Slack:

So single the neighborhood cats make ME dinner.

Spotted on Reddit:

Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I prefer to use deodorant immediately after shaving my armpits so that I can feel that I’m still alive.

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Same here! My knees crack like they're trying to join the conversation 😂🪑

age, i, place, sit, somewhere, thing, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

63 shares on X this month:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Say what you want about online meetings, but there are few things more liberating than attending a disciplinary hearing naked from the waist down.

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m one group chat away from vanishing into the woods to befriend forest creatures.

15 shares on X this month:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

80 shares on Slack this month:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

Trying to eat with my left hand because I need a little excitement in my life.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

Going viral on X:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Trending via Instagram:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Going viral on Reddit:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Spotted on Instagram:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Going bananas on X:

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

Live now on TikTok:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Shared recently on WeChat:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m at the age where the first thing I do when I get somewhere is look for a place to sit.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

College is literally just you, your laptop, and your water bottle against the world.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨