Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.
  • Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.
  • When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.
  • If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.
  • “Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”
  • Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.