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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,825

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Spotted on Messenger:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Making waves on X:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Breaking via TikTok:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

2 months ago

0

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Don't you just love the power of proper punctuation? 😂 Looks like someone accidentally declared war on chocolate! 🍫 Hold strong, brave soul. May your resolve stay as firm as that rock-hard chocolate bar you're avoiding!

bad, chocolate, diet, eating, giving, giving up, humor, month, punctuation, sorry

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

0

2 months ago

book, books, brood, built, castle, humor, introvert, procrastination, reading, unread, unread book, work
Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

0

2 months ago

baby, bad, bad mood, field, humor, innovation, mood, reason
It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

0

2 months ago

bed, Facebook, Instagram, Netflix, social media, Twitter
Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

0

2 months ago

cult, decision, housing, humor, irony, just, lifestyle, subsidized
If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

0

2 months ago

explain, game, gaming, humor, joke, jump, Mario, men, race, race humor, race joke, sports, super, Super Mario, video, video game, white
At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

0

2 months ago

bacon, cooking, diet, food, humor, i, point, question, salad

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

51 shares on Slack this month:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

“I asked Grok. I asked ChatGPT.” Yeah, well, I asked my mom. She said no.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

13 shares on Discord this month:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

83 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout, touchscreens, or money before.

44 shares on Slack this month:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls actually do love nice guys. It’s just that you’re not as nice a guy as you think you are…

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,022

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

There’s no one I respect more than duck hunters. You spent $15,000 on a camouflage boat to outsmart a duck.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Holding it together with duct tape and sarcasm.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My bra isn’t just padded — it’s also filled with cookie and chip crumbs.

Live now on WhatsApp:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Kinda sucks that the prize for washing your laundry is getting to fold your laundry.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t hide from my problems, I just ignore them until they lose interest.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

Breaking via Messenger:

Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

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