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"Oh, don't worry, jealousy may be deadly but it's not the leading cause of death just yet! 😂 Just remember, comparison is the thief of joy! 🙅‍♂️💀"

day, die, emotion, exaggeration, going, humor, jealousy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

1 month ago
fine, fine motor skills, gift, gift wrapping, holiday, humor, motor, objects, paper, season, skills, T-Rex, wrap, wrapping
That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

1 month ago
bed, clothes, funny observation, humor, laundry, mess, observation, own, pile, powers, procrastination, strange
A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

5 months ago
attitude, hard, humor, just, optimist, personality, perspective, pessimist, playing, playing hard to get
I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

1 month ago
accountability, am, better, do better, humor, i, influence, influencer, media, responsibility, self-improvement, social, social media
No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

1 month ago
always, earlier, early, fate, half, hour, humor, irony, matter, morning, time
Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

1 month ago
diva, divisibility, divisible, humor, insult, joke, math, math joke, number, number theory, numbers, okay, only, playful, playful insult, prime, prime number, theory, yourself

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

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If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

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Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

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On the next episode of Hoarders, they visit my subconscious.

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I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Grab your own butt! Love yourself!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Just shared via X:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Just shared via Discord:

My favorite part of fall is when the mosquitoes go back to hell.

Trending via Reddit:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Just landed via Facebook:

And for my next trick, I’ll set your soul on fire.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Hate it when my mouth says something my brain was trying to keep quiet.

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

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I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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