Iā€™m going to die from jealousy one day.

Iā€™m going to die from jealousy one day.

Commentary:
“Oh, don’t worry, jealousy may be deadly but it’s not the leading cause of death just yet! 😂 Just remember, comparison is the thief of joy! 🙅‍♂️💀”

, , , , , ,
New funny quotes ā†’
Follow us on X ā†’
Follow us on Facebook ā†’
Follow us on Pinterest ā†’

Advertisement

Trending Funny Quotes šŸ‘‡

  • You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

    Commentary:
    Ah, the good old days when the internet and landline phones had to battle it out for attention in households! 🕸️☎️ Talk about a power struggle between being connected online and being connected through a phone call. Imagine the chaos when someone wanted to Google something while someone else urgently needed to call grandma! 😂 #InternetNostalgia

  • I sent you a message telepathically and you didnā€™t respond. Are you mad at me?

    Commentary:
    Oh dear, did my telepathic carrier pigeon get lost en route to your brain? 🧐🕊️ Don’t worry, I’ve upgraded to sending messages via psychic owls now. 🦉 Hopefully, they’ll reach you in time for our next séance! 🔮😄

  • My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

    Commentary:
    “Trying to organize my thoughts is like trying to tidy up after a tornado in a thrift shop 🌪️🧹! My mind is a chaotic circus of random ideas bouncing around like excited puppies on a trampoline 🐶🦘. Who knew the junk drawer could be this lively and unpredictable? 🤪♻️”

  • Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Havenā€™t tried it myself but seems really popular.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the latest trend in public transportation chic: the art of coughing on the bus. 🚌💨 Who needs perfume or cologne when you can just share your germs instead? 😷💁🏻‍♂️ Just remember folks, sharing is caring… unless it’s germs. 🤣🤢 #CoughingCouture”

  • Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, yes, living within your means is so last season 💁‍♀️ Who needs a budget when you have an imagination bursting with creative ways to spend money you don’t have? 💸✨ Someone pass the glitter, we’re about to DIY our way to financial freedom! 🌈✂️ #ImaginationsUnite”

  • Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

    Commentary:
    “Whoops! Looks like someone forgot to check the family calendar before planning their secrets! 🗓️🤭 Maybe next time pick a less festive season for clandestine endeavors! #SecretFamilyProblems”