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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

337 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,930

Funny Quotes Topics

17,099

Funny Quotes Images

14,930

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,793

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

Live now on Telegram:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Just shared via TikTok:

I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

Going viral on Reddit:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

Making waves on Twitch:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Trending via Pinterest:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sure, just going to let my brain go on vacation and hope things work out 😂🧠✈️

attempt, decision making, going, humor, mindset, problem, self-reflection, situation, thinking, try, underthinking, works

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

1 month ago

am, heart, humor, i, love, matters, perspective, relationship, size
I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

1 month ago

body, body image, cheese, chocolate, comparison, confidence, food, humor, image, joke, self-esteem, together
That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

1 month ago

alarm, depressing, depressing moment, disappointment, false, false alarm, fire, fire alarm, humor, just, moment, surprise, test, work, workplace, workplace humor
Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

2 months ago

attitude, humor, i, lazy, motivation, participation, procrastination, selective, selective participation, term, ugly, ugly word, word
I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

2 months ago

always, do nothing, home, humor, nothing, procrastination, relaxation, rush
There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

4 months ago

August, emotion, explain, feeling, grief, i, kind, late, late August, nostalgia, sadness, seasonal, seasonal feeling, weird

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Golf would be more exciting to watch if they played naked.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Police cars should play ice cream truck music when they’re pulling you over for something minor.

Broadcasted on Discord:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

That stupid look on my face is my face.

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Party rock is in the mouse tonighttt, piece of cheese I’m gonna take a big biteee.

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Men: Masters of multitasking – can watch sports, ignore laundry, and forget your birthday, all at once.

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

Mothers will invent chores just to be mad you’re not doing them too.

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

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“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

That very depressing moment when you find out the fire alarm that went off at work was just a test.

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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