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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Just got emotional imagining a worm emerging from its cocoon as a dragonfly and then got even more emotional remembering that’s not what they do.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Just shared via Slack:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Trending via WeChat:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Spotted on Instagram:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Making waves on WeChat:

My only knowledge of animals is that turtles like pizza and cats like lasagna.

Trending via Pinterest:

Sane is boring.

Trending via Twitch:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the ol' mullet defense strategy – business in the front, party in the back (but no parties for you, apparently)! 🤣 Here's to rocking that anti-social hairstyle with flair! 💇‍♂️"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

30 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.

Just landed via Telegram:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Freshly posted on Slack:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Just landed via Slack:

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

Reported on WeChat:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Food is like sex: When you abstain, even the worst stuff begins to look good.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

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