Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

1pm, the perfect time to start doing the work I woke up early to get a jump on.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I’m often mistaken for an adult because of my age.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

Trending via Twitch:

Wearing a condom while she’s on birth control is called two-factor authentication.

Trending via Reddit:

If you wish me a happy Thanksgiving, don’t be surprised if I whip out a ziplock bag and ask you to bring me home some leftovers.

Making waves on Slack:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Just shared via Facebook:

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

Live now on Snapchat:

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Going viral on X:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Maybe they should rename it the 'Somewhat United Kingdom'? 😅🤔 #BrexitBanter"

comedy, expert, humor, i, joke, politics, sarcasm, satire, think, UK, unity

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

0

2 months ago

again, fine, humor, independence, just, man, own, purpose, relationship, remind, reminder, self-reliance, simply, sometimes
My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

0

2 months ago

bartender, business, humor, interaction, me, mind, privacy, rest, social, social interaction, trauma
All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

0

2 months ago

decision, decisions, humor, i, overthinking, self-deprecating, still, worst, worst decision
They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

0

2 months ago

before, buy, estate, experience, funny idea, ghost, haunted, haunted house, home, house, humor, idea, just, let, night, real, real estate, rent, should, spend, sure
The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

0

2 months ago

away, behavior, coming, early, early invention, fear, history, human, human behavior, innovation, invention, people, progress, ran, reaction, saw, surprise, time, train, transportation
Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

0

2 months ago

body, brain, everyday, exercise, fitness, humor, i, just, much, needs, running, think, workout

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

They should invent someone who holds me.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Social media is mental suicide.

47 shares on Threads this month:

I cheat on my taxes by sleeping with other people’s taxes.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

68 shares on Threads this month:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

My house was clean yesterday. Sorry, you missed it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I am so full of love and anger, like a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

“I’m getting tired of everything being 100 dollars and 100 degrees.”

Trending via Discord:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Just landed via Discord:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

My child has entered the “Why?” stage of linguistic development, and I’ve realized I know absolutely nothing.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Shared recently on Slack:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Going viral on Discord:

Do you remember when you looked through binoculars upside down and everyone was really far away? That was nice.

Just landed via Twitch:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Going viral on Reddit:

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨