I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Commentary:
“Don’t worry about ghosts haunting you, worry about the living holding grudges! 👻👻 Who needs ghosts when you’ve got a lineup of enemies ready to scare you right out of your sleep? 😂 #GhostFreeZone”

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

    Commentary:
    “Lesson learned: sometimes it’s better to stick to classic moves instead of trying to sweeten the pot too much! 🍯😂 #HoneyGoneWrong”

  • Spotify Wrapped, but for all your bad decisions this year.

    Commentary:
    “Introducing ‘Life Wrapped: reliving all your questionable life choices from the past year! 🙈🔥 Whether it’s that regrettable haircut, questionable fashion trend, or that time you hit reply-all by accident, this playlist has got it all. Get ready to cringe and laugh your way through #LifeWrapped2021! 😂🎉”

  • I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

    Commentary:
    “Well, your honor, turns out my root chakra was feeling quite unappreciated 🙈🌿 Maybe that’s why I ended up in this predicament! Who knew chakras could be so influential in legal matters? #ChakrasNeedLoveToo”

  • I’ll never understand why the volume in movies is always mixed in such a way that you can barely understand the dialog and your neighbor gets war flashbacks during action scenes.

    Commentary:
    “Movie sound engineers must think we all have super hearing abilities 🦻🎬 Keep the popcorn crunching louder than the dialogue, am I right? 🍿💥 #NeighborNeedsEarplugs”

  • I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

    Commentary:
    “Guess it’s time to learn puppy love all over again! 🐶😂 #BarkInsteadOfBite”

  • “Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the joy of paying bills…said no one ever! 💸💢 It’s like a necessary evil we just can’t escape! 😂”