Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Women are actually very understanding if you’re honest with them, especially if they like you. You don’t even have to do all that lying.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Everyone wants a drunk text until I’m doing it at noon.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Seems like the ‘how to use a fire extinguisher’ video on YouTube shouldn’t have a 30-second ad before it.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

She’s got style, she’s got grace, she crams french fries in her face.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Just shared via Twitch:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Freshly posted on X:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Shared recently on Threads:

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

Shared recently on Discord:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When explaining my genius, volume is key! 📢😜

arguing, argument, being, being right, communication, explaining, explanation, humor, just, loud, louder, right, sarcasm, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

0

2 months ago

appearance, belief, ceremony, humor, Jesus, shows, thank, wedding
I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

0

2 months ago

days, humor, i, little, people, research, weekend, work, WTF
I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

0

2 months ago

advertising, commercial, commercials, dance, describe, drug, drug commercial, effect, humor, i, medication, side, side effect, too
It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

0

2 months ago

alarm, day, first day, important, kids, parenting, remember, reminder, responsibility, school
I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

0

2 months ago

comedy, eviction, humor, i, irony, lesson, life, life lesson, living, living in the moment, moment, sarcasm
This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

0

2 months ago

baking, baking fail, close, codes, design, even, fail, festive, festive fun, fire, fire safety, fun, gingerbread, gingerbread house, holiday, holiday humor, house, house design, humor, safety, safety codes

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on X this month:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

31 shares on Messenger this month:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

38 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Relationship tip: Make sure you’re the crazy one.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Avocado is just green butter.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Aliens probably have group chats called Don’t Stop on Earth.

Just shared via Telegram:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

God, is there anything worse than when someone wants to show you a video?

Shared recently on Twitch:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Breaking via Reddit:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Just shared via WeChat:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I do not know how to put this gently, but part of being a good driver is using the gas and brake as little as humanly possible.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Seen just now on Discord:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

I get it, drug commercials. I too like to dance while I describe all my side effects.

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨