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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Friendship is when you don’t tidy up before visitors arrive.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,896

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Trending via Slack:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

Going viral on WeChat:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Just landed via Threads:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
When explaining my genius, volume is key! 📢😜

arguing, argument, being, being right, communication, explaining, explanation, humor, just, loud, louder, right, sarcasm, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

2 months ago
5, adult, back, birthday, communication, humor, interaction, media, nostalgia, people, social, social interaction, social media, texting, thanks
I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

1 month ago
awake, grumpy, humor, mood, only, sarcasm, sleep
Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

1 month ago
better, cookie, craving, diet, eating, humor, i, loss, motivation, self-control, skinny, temptation, tomorrow, wake, weight, weight loss
Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

4 months ago
behavior, child, child behavior, correct, humor, i, interruption, kid, kids, moment, parenting, yourself
The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

1 month ago
accuracy, accurate, bible, close, close range, humor, irony, range, throw
If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

1 month ago
activity, around, big, booth, confession, humor, i, ID, joke, priest, run, side

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Making waves on Slack:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Going bananas on Telegram:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Salary week, but salary weak.

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

I bet doom scroll meant something way cooler in the middle ages.

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Please stop assuming that too many em dashes mean AI written. Some of us are producing grammatically incoherent work the honest way!

Meeting Beyoncé and telling her I loved her in Goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career, just to see if it throws her off.

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I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right louder.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Not eating the cookie I’m craving. I better wake up skinny tomorrow.

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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