Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Animals are 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,299

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Trending via Messenger:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Live now on Messenger:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Just landed via Instagram:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Shared recently on Facebook:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you a bad day, serve it back with extra sass and a side of mischief 🌟😜🔄

attitude, bad, bad day, confidence, day, humor, me, motivation, self-empowerment

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

0

2 months ago

another, comedy, dinosaurs, film, guess, humor, jurassic, let, loose, me, movie, sequel
They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

0

2 months ago

back, betrayal, cut, humor, knife, mad, relationships, ty, used
What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

0

2 months ago

bleak, bleak life, drink, experience, funny experience, humor, joy, laugh, laughter, life, mishap, never, nose, shoot
I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

0

2 months ago

cardio, exercise, fitness, frustration, humor, i, need, patience, running
My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

0

2 months ago

bad, common, common sense, everyone, expectation, humor, irony, sense, thinking
I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

0

2 months ago

communication, getting, humor, i, irony, less, media, misinformation, miss, nostalgia, places

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

46 shares on X this month:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

I could have been the favorite mistress of the Sun King at Versailles, but nooooooooo I had to be born into late stage capitalism.

74 shares on X this month:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

33 shares on Reddit this month:

My cat is so finicky. I finally gave up and taught him how to order Uber Eats for himself.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Starting a new life today, bye.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

Social media is mental suicide.

89 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re a mad scientist, put a note in your laboratory reminding you to sometimes be a happy scientist.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Just shared via Twitch:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Going viral on Instagram:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

Just landed via Reddit:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Spotted on WeChat:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

Just shared via Facebook:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Spotted on Instagram:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Going viral on TikTok:

Fun Fact: Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not gonna have a bad day. The day is gonna have a bad me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨