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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed and the other half donโ€™t know how to do math.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked. Iโ€™m a family of 8.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has copied:

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has bookmarked:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

I want a pet eagle thatโ€™s trained to steal peopleโ€™s sandwiches for me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Me, watching porn: theyโ€™re just going to let that pizza get cold?

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1741 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,903

Funny Quotes Topics

14,721

Funny Quotes Images

11,903

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on Instagram:

People will say stuff like “Well, at least if WWIII happens, I won’t have to go to work…” I think in your heart you know that’s not true.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

Spotted on YouTube:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Oasis didn’t just write good songs. They wrote the soundtrack for a whole generation.

Just landed via Instagram:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The only appointment Iโ€™m ever on time for is disappointment.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Just landed via X:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.
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"When life gives you lemons, be the zesty bad example! ๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿ˜œ"

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

1741 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,903

Funny Quotes Topics

14,721

Funny Quotes Images

11,903

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has viewed:

No one my age is single because theyโ€™re all unhappily married.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has bookmarked:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ป has viewed:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, โ€œhot dogs! hot dogs!โ€ over and over again? Thatโ€™s me, looking for hot dogs.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ถ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

What no one tells you about having kids is that within a few years youโ€™re in possession of a lot of teeth that you have no idea what to do with.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฏ has copied:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡พ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, Iโ€™m not gonna fight with her.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

If my TVโ€™s so smart then why doesnโ€™t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has copied:

We argue about where to go for dinner for so long, it eventually becomes an argument on where to go for breakfast.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Pinterest:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Going viral on YouTube:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Spotted on Facebook:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Trending via Telegram:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

โ€œGreyโ€™s Anatomyโ€ but itโ€™s told entirely through the lens of the hospitalโ€™s HR department.

Seen just now on Discord:

I got bills. Theyโ€™re multiplying.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

Trending via Threads:

I got fired from my job at the massage parlor. No specific reason, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

People who donโ€™t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

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