Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

If only vehicles could be equipped with little blinky lights on the corners to alert other drivers the direction they wished to turn.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,240

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Spotted on Facebook:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s so hot outside that when I opened my front door I thought I was checking on my oven.

Trending via Snapchat:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Making waves on Discord:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Live now on Messenger:

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Smash it like it's a piñata filled with bad ideas! 🎉💥

attitude, defiance, humor, i, illusion, pieces, shattering, smash, smashing, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

0

3 months ago

empowerment, fear, feminine, feminine urge, humor, most, superstition, urge, village, witch
It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

0

2 months ago

activity, every, going, going out, homebody, house, humor, important, once, remind, self-awareness, social, social activity, staying, staying in, while, why, yourself
My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

0

2 months ago

again, casual, casual wear, humor, job, me, office, office job, procrastination, sweatpants, want, wear, work
I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

0

2 months ago

Beatles, everywhere, hair, here, i, lyric, morning, music, woke
Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

0

2 months ago

always, communication, ever, humor, irony, meteor, meteorologist, meteorologists, observation, talking, weather
That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, brain, brains, funny situation, humor, joke, looking, moment, past, right, situation, survival, walking, walks, zombie

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

30 shares on Discord this month:

If Kanye got hacked, no one would even know.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

57 shares on X this month:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

91 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

51 shares on X this month:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I should go to jail so I can focus on the gym.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Shared recently on Slack:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Making waves on X:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Just shared via Discord:

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

Shared recently on Threads:

Chuck Norris passed his driving test on foot.

Shared recently on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Trending via Facebook:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

That awkward moment when a zombie looking for brains walks right past you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨