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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Spotify should have helpful mental health suggestions like “your top listens are Taylor Swift and true crime, go to therapy.”

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Coffee should be free for everyone Monday through Friday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2437 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,599

Funny Quotes Topics

15,267

Funny Quotes Images

12,599

3 minutes ago

3,450

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Just landed via TikTok:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

Going viral on TikTok:

I just need to lie down for a couple of years.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Why are “hemorrhoids” not called “assteroids”?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Just shared via Slack:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

4 months ago

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

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Commentary:
📱 "I'm officially at the age where I'm not upgrading my phone until it stops working." Well, who needs the latest tech when you have a smartphone that's practically an antique? Embrace the retro vibes and let that ancient relic keep you texting like a time traveler! 🕰️ #OldSchoolIsCool

age, humor, life, phone, technology, upgrade, where, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2437 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,599

Funny Quotes Topics

15,267

Funny Quotes Images

12,599

3 minutes ago

3,463

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

My love language is being sent money.

Just landed via Threads:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Going viral on Discord:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Back then, my parents were afraid of what I would do on the Internet. Today, I’m afraid of what my parents do on the Internet.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Spotted on Slack:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Just landed via Slack:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

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