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Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

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I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

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I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

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Cats must think weโ€™re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

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Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

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Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

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You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

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I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Commentary:
๐Ÿ“ฑ "I'm officially at the age where I'm not upgrading my phone until it stops working." Well, who needs the latest tech when you have a smartphone that's practically an antique? Embrace the retro vibes and let that ancient relic keep you texting like a time traveler! ๐Ÿ•ฐ๏ธ #OldSchoolIsCool



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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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