Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

I believe the IRS is days away from having a nuclear weapon.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

There are some websites where my password management strategy is to just hit “Forgot my password” every time I need to log in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,253

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Spreading quickly via X:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Making waves on Threads:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Just landed via Discord:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I ghost family members too, so believe me, bro — it’s not personal.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Going viral on Telegram:

The fewer friends at your birthday party means more cake for you. Follow me for more life hacks.

Breaking via Slack:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

2 months ago

0

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone took 'eating your fruits and veggies' a little too literally 🍎🤦‍♂️ Just making sure to get your daily dose of fiber… and adhesive! 🙊😂"

apple, eaten, eating, fall, food, humor, i, mistake, people, percentage, pretty, relatable, sticker, sure, under

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

0

3 months ago

clean, cog, core, machine, morning, night, productivity, self-care, sexy, shower, vibe, vibes
Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.

0

2 months ago

affection, every, geometry, humor, joke, love, pun, relationship, triangle
My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, bed, bottom, favorite, Godfather, guy, half, horse, humor, mafia, movie, movie scene, scene, scream, screams, stolen
There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

0

2 months ago

boom, boom shakalaka, excitement, Friday, fun, shakalaka, synonym
My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

0

4 weeks ago

automatic, call, humor, just, messaging, sound, stomach, system, voice, voice messaging system
Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

before, enough, health, humor, i, me, paramedic, pass, pass out, reluctance, save, tomorrow, work, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on YouTube this month:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

77 shares on Instagram this month:

I disagree with my politics.

48 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Not going is the new leaving early.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll never tell anyone your secret because that would mean talking to people.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,351

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Some people stay in the past because that’s where they peaked.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Man, it sucks having no kids. All I do is whatever I want, all the time.

Seen just now on Slack:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Breaking via Facebook:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Breaking via Pinterest:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Making waves on Slack:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Spotted on Messenger:

Me: God, please stop giving me your toughest battles. God: You just have to empty the dishwasher.

Making waves on Messenger:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

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