Trendy Funny Quotes

  • When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.
  • People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.
  • Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.
  • Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.
  • The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?
  • Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.