Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I think being a hopeless romantic is giving me brain damage.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Your girlfriend needs two hours to get ready. But if you don’t have your shoes on when she’s ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Welcome to your late 40s! From now on you will no longer be in “good health” but in “good health for your age”.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,648

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Life tip: If all of your bathrooms are full and you’re waiting for someone to finish, just turn off the WiFi in the house.

Live now on WhatsApp:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Going viral on Facebook:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

Trending via Telegram:

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

Just shared via Telegram:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Breaking via TikTok:

Single, not sure how to mingle.

I’m sick of living through history!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Same here! Can we just skip to the part where we win a lifetime supply of vacation days? 😅🏖️📜"

frustration, history, humor, living, satire, sick, through

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

0

2 months ago

being, bills, carefree, dinosaur, extinct, humor, just, nice, relaxation, simplicity, sounds, work
I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

0

2 months ago

expectations, family, humor, i, irony, kids, parent, parenting, patience, patient
God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

0

2 months ago

creation, divine, God, humor, i, irony, making, memory, remember, self-reflection, stupid, stupidity
Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

0

2 months ago

addicted, addiction, bad, bad posture, body, body position, comfortable, humor, position, posture, shrimp, sit, sitting, why
It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

0

2 months ago

change, facial, facial recognition, humor, i, identity, myself, okay, personal, recognition, self
A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

0

2 months ago

haunted, haunted house, head, house, humor, inside, introspection, just, loneliness, mental, mental state, mind, own, self, spooky, state

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I have a very particular set of useless skills.

89 shares on Threads this month:

If you really wanna piss someone off when introducing them, make little finger quotation marks in the air when announcing their job title.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

68 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

69 shares on Twitch this month:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

44 shares on X this month:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Just caught a moth and sent it back outside. Feeling like Mr. Miyagi.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Meetings are a wonderful way to help your employees take a break from being productive.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

My sweatpants sat me down and said they want me to get an office job again.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Asking the birds outside my window if they know any Metallica.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Spotted on Twitch:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Just landed via Telegram:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

Just landed via Discord:

I eat posts like yours for breakfast.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Live now on WhatsApp:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Shared recently on Discord:

Any tips on being smart? For someone just getting into thinking.

Spotted on Threads:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your credit card from your purse.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m sick of living through history!

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Addicted to bad posture like why is it so comfortable to sit like a cooked shrimp.

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

A haunted house, but it’s just you inside your own head.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨