Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
🍕🌍 "I'm not sure who needs to hear this, but the best decision I've ever made was choosing to live on the 'Planet Pizza'! No regrets, just extra cheese and happiness 😄🍕 #PizzaLover #Grateful #BestPlanetEver"

comfort, comfort food, food, gratitude, happiness, humor, i, live, pizza, planet, thankful

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

0

2 months ago

activity, exercise, humor, i, night, should, sleep, think, tossing, turning
You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

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2 months ago

efficiency, good, good thing, humor, irony, management, multitask, productivity, say, task, task management, thing
Social media is mental suicide.

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2 months ago

exaggeration, health, humor, life, media, mental, mental health, mental state, modern, modern life, network, social, social media, social network, state, suicide, technology
I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

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2 months ago

9, after, age, age-related, age-related humor, ask, bedtime, coming, definitely, humor, humor about age, late, late night, me, night, night out, nightlife, where
See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

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2 months ago

after, after school, apple, home, humor, i, kid, kids, parenting, school, snack, whisper
When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

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2 months ago

balance, extension, Friday, holiday, humor, i, joke, politics, president, public, Thursday, weekend, work life, work-life balance

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to adulthood. The weekend is your only time to catch up on everything, but also your only time to do absolutely nothing.

74 shares on X this month:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

61 shares on Threads this month:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

36 shares on WeChat this month:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

41 shares on WeChat this month:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Babe, are you OK? It’s already Q4, and you’ve barely touched your “2025 roadmap.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Sometimes, after I’ve completed a task that wasn’t on my to-do list, I’ll add it and then cross it off for the free dopamine boost.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

One day I’ll have a sassy, know-it-all daughter, and my husband will say, “She got that from you,” and I can’t wait.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Shared recently on Discord:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Just shared via X:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Making waves on Discord:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Live now on Reddit:

Everyone is using AI to write business emails, texts, etc. At this point in time, we may as well just tell our AIs to talk to each other and then let us know what kind of deal they worked out.

Seen just now on Telegram:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Just shared via TikTok:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Social media is mental suicide.

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

When I become president, any public holiday that falls on a Thursday automatically extends to Friday.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨