Trending Funny Quotes šŸ‘‡

  • Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.
  • I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.
  • At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.
  • When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.
  • Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.
  • I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.