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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Difference between a flirt and harassment: if you are handsome, it’s a flirt, if you are ugly, it’s harassment.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,634

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Anything can be a dating app if you aren’t a coward.

Just shared via Instagram:

They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Making waves on TikTok:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Just shared via Threads:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

4 months ago

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Commentary:
Sounds like your inner monologue needs a lesson in hospitality! 🧠🤨🍵

dialogue, head, humor, internal, internal dialogue, me, much, self, self-doubt, starting, think, voice

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve disappointed better people.

1 month ago
better, disappointment, expectations, humor, people, self-deprecation
The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

1 month ago
conflict, decision, humor, impulse, resolve, something, stupid, stupidity, tendency, tension
Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

1 month ago
ask, eyes, heart, heart eyes, humor, i, jealousy, missionary, relationship, texting, trust, work
I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

1 month ago
bring, dining, food, humor, i, joke, lot, restaurant, service, table, waiter, wit
Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

7 days ago
bell, couple, couples, day, fight, fun, holiday, humor, oh, relationship, single, watch, yay
Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

1 month ago
compliment, give, humor, irony, let, me, mistaken, person, response, self-deprecation, synopsis, why

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Just shared via X:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Trending via Telegram:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

Seen just now on Slack:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Spotted on Instagram:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

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Activity Log ✨

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

I’ve disappointed better people.

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

My daughter says I’m making it up! Do you remember having to carry a quarter for the payphone, just in case?

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

I’m an adult, that’s why I can have Skittles for dinner.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

As long as I can dip something in something, I’m happy.

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

It’s amazing how cats can ignore you with both ears.

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Hate when you’re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all “Please open your mouth.”

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I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve disappointed better people.

The sexual tension between my tendency to do something stupid and my resolve not to.

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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