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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

It takes only one person in this world to make you smile. It’s called a plastic surgeon.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Girl, you gotta try this healing potion. It’s called beer.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Just emerged from my Y2K bunker. Everybody okay?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,259

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Trending via Pinterest:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If you’re not happy single you won’t be happy married. Happiness comes from eating food, not from relationships.

Breaking via Snapchat:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Spotted on Instagram:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Spotted on WeChat:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Just landed via X:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Level up to macroplastics! Who needs kale when you can chew on Legos? 😆🔍🥬

being, big, eat, environment, food, forced, humor, microplastic, microplastics, plastic, pollution, pollution problem, problem, ready, satire, tired

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

0

2 months ago

AI, AI failure, awesome, criticism, environmental, environmental impact, failure, Google, Google AI, humor, impact, innovation, planet, sarcasm, technology, work
May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

0

2 months ago

accident, dating, drop, embarrassment, face, funny moment, girls, humor, media, moment, phone, prank, social, social media, texting
Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

0

2 months ago

attitude, challenge, day, early, fitness, great, humor, humor in fitness, morning, morning routine, morning run, motivation, positive, positive attitude, routine, run, start, start of day, starting, sure, worse
There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

0

2 months ago

boom, boom shakalaka, excitement, Friday, fun, shakalaka, synonym
Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

0

2 months ago

doctors, funny observation, healthcare, hear, humor, irony, joke, me, observation, room, wait, waiting, waiting room, where
Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

0

2 months ago

am, ever, evidence, growth, humor, i, irony, journaling, most, only, personal, personal growth, self-reflection, still, suffering, thing, useless, writing

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Slack this month:

I disagree with my politics.

99 shares on Discord this month:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

19 shares on Messenger this month:

What is the morning wood equivalent for women, and why do I always have it?

64 shares on Discord this month:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Growing your own tomatoes really is the best way to devote 3 months of your life to saving $2.17.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just went to Crazy Town, and they said you’re a local legend.

55 shares on Threads this month:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

52 shares on WeChat this month:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t wanna party like it’s 1999, I want to pay my bills like it’s 1999.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Guys have good pics on their dating profiles because their ex took them.

Going bananas on YouTube:

When I’m president, everyone who listens to techno, house or rap will be allowed to drive a little faster than others.

Just landed via Reddit:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Spotted on Twitch:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Spotted on Discord:

If cats could send Christmas cards, they wouldn’t.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Cutting my steak at Texas Roadhouse with my car keys.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Going viral on Messenger:

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

Seen just now on Slack:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Hear me out. A waiting room where the doctors wait.

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨