Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.
  • The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.
  • Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.
  • I really want an emotional support octopus so I can train it to slap people and shoplift.
  • Oh good. Another day.
  • Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?