Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.
  • I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.
  • Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.
  • Somebody needs to get my shit together.
  • My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”
  • Wanna come over and see my mis-matched sock collection?