Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Spotted on Threads:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Going viral on Facebook:

Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.

Breaking via Telegram:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Just landed via Discord:

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Spotted on Facebook:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Just landed via X:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Interviewer: "What did you learn from your previous job?"
Me: "That I need a new job."

🤣 Looks like the previous job was a crash course in job hunting! 🏹 Good thing this candidate is quick on their feet! #JobHuntingChampion

career, career change, change, experience, humor, i, interviewer, job, job search, learn, me, need, new, new job, previous, search, work, work experience

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

3 months ago

exercise, halen, humor, i, just, lift, music, van, Van Halen, weights, wonder, workout, writing
Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

2 months ago

humor, media, people, realization, silence, social, social media, suffering, tried, Twitter
Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

3 months ago

am, art, couch, creativity, example, home, humor, i, lying, museum, relaxation, self-deprecation, works
Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

2 months ago

am, drinking, drinking habit, habit, humor, i, joke, just, kid, kids, me, okay, parenting, school, soon, start, teacher, terrible
Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

2 months ago

absurdity, conflict, fight, fitted, fitted sheet, humor, irony, knife, knife fight, preparation, sheet, unexpected
I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

2 months ago

bond, character, fat, film, humor, i, james, James Bond, parody, ready, stereotype, think, world

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

24 shares on Telegram this month:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Kind of miraculous how much love can be summoned and how much your day can be improved by just looking at an animal and saying stuff in a weird voice.

94 shares on X this month:

One of the most embarrassing things in the world: walking downhill.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

27 shares on Reddit this month:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

92 shares on Discord this month:

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

Anyone else get excited about going to bed because you know there’ll be coffee in the morning, or is that just me?

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Microsoft: Before you sign in, we need to send you a code. Also, Microsoft: OMG, was that you that requested a code? Also, Microsoft: OMG, someone just signed in to your account.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

I need you to think about me 23/7. You get 1 hour a day for yourself.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Just shared via Instagram:

Telling your child their sibling is still asleep a very effective way to get them to practice their instrument.

Just shared via Slack:

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Just landed via Slack:

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Seen just now on Discord:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Just shared via YouTube:

I remixed a remix, it was back to normal.

Trending via TikTok:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Seen just now on Threads:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Keep the laugh going 😂

I wonder if Van Halen realized they were writing music just to lift weights to.

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨