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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Cheers erupt as woman cuts into perfectly ripe avocado.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Just shared via Twitch:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Breaking via WeChat:

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food, and all I find is ingredients.

Just shared via Facebook:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Reported on TikTok:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Reported on Snapchat:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Spotted on Pinterest:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Shared recently on Threads:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.
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Commentary:
"Realizing it's only Thursday: 😩 Realizing it's actually Wednesday: 😂 Plot twist level: expert! Remember folks, sometimes mid-week confusion can lead to mid-week joy! 🎉 #WednesdayVibes"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

792 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,954

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,954

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

“I asked ChatGPT”. I confided in Amazon. I confessed to McDonald’s. I have an inside joke with Exxon Mobil.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Downloading the Titanic soundtrack. It’s syncing right now.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

Imagine Pinocchio roasting you for 5 mins straight and his nose didn’t move an inch.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Trending via Messenger:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Just shared via Snapchat:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Seen just now on WeChat:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Trending via Facebook:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Breaking via Slack:

Make every hug more interesting by mysteriously whispering, “the Dark Lord stands at the crossroads!”

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Opinions are like air fryers. Everyone’s got one and they won’t stop banging on about them.

Trending via Instagram:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

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