It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

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This year felt like being awake during surgery.

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Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

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If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

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Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

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Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

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I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

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Me leaving the house: I hope I don’t see anyone.

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Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

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Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

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Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.