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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

780 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,942

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,942

57 minutes ago

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Shared recently on Slack:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Going viral on Discord:

I wrote a book. It’s a murder mystery. You’re in it but only for the first couple of chapters.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You look like you suck at Mario Kart.

Going viral on X:

That awkward moment when someone keeps watching you while you are eating.

Just landed via Reddit:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’ve finally found a book that speaks to me. I believe it’s called an “audiobook”.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Shared recently on Discord:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

It was me, I let the dogs out.

4 months ago

It was me, I let the dogs out.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like we finally found out who was responsible for letting the dogs out! It wasn't the cats, the birds, or even the squirrels – it was you all along! Let's hope they don't hold a grudge for getting busted. Just remember, in the future, keep a closer leash on things before your furry friends start causing a canine commotion! 🐶🚪🔓

antic, confession, dog, funny moment, humor, i, let, let out, me, moment, pet, pet antic, responsibility

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

780 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,942

Funny Quotes Topics

13,915

Funny Quotes Images

10,942

57 minutes ago

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

As I’m moonwalking away, they didn’t even notice I had stolen a brownie.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Who called them cat allergies and not meowlergies?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

People always ask me why there’s a chair in my shower. Who the hell eats breakfast standing up?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Just shared via Messenger:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Reported on TikTok:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Trending via Pinterest:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Just landed via Slack:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Just landed via Snapchat:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Going viral on Facebook:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

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