Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Just landed via Instagram:

Spider-Man, but set in rural England so he just has to walk everywhere.

Just landed via WeChat:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

Spotted on YouTube:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Live now on TikTok:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Live now on Facebook:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

5 months ago

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Commentary:
This explains why I'm constantly terrified of algebra… 😱📚🤯

actually, dependency, depends, fear, growing, growing up, life, reflection, scary, teenager, well, whole, youth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

0

2 months ago

always, care, communication, humor, i, irony, less, me, misunderstanding, response, someone
That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

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5 days ago

bad, boring, boring life, experience, experiences, harm, introvert, life, living, lot, protection
Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

0

2 months ago

body, body part, daily, daily routine, day, eye, eye roll, fitness, humor, joke, roll, routine, sarcasm
I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, content, fat, getting, humor, image, perspective, self-deprecation
Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

0

2 months ago

around, digging, everything, grave, here, humor, i, own, responsibility, sarcasm, self-deprecation
Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

0

2 months ago

compliment, give, humor, irony, let, me, mistaken, person, response, self-deprecation, synopsis, why

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

“The only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!” Yeah, have you met me? That’s gonna be a problem.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

89 shares on X this month:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

52 shares on Threads this month:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

28 shares on TikTok this month:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Maybe Baby wants to be put in the corner.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Coffee: Because without it I would be a serious danger to society.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

If your boyfriend insists he rolls everywhere because it’s ‘faster than walking’, you may be dating a gamer.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

A penguin is a bird the way a hot dog is a sandwich.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Just landed via Facebook:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My morning routine consists of talking myself out of quitting my job.

Just shared via Reddit:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Going viral on YouTube:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Making waves on Discord:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Trending via WeChat:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

When someone tells me “They could care less”, instead of the proper “I couldn’t care less”, I always say “At least you care.”

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Out of all my body parts, I’m sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.

I’m not getting fatter. I’m increasing my content.

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Person: gives compliment. Me: let me give you a brief synopsis of why you are sorely mistaken.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨