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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Everyone says “Do what makes you happy”, until you push them down the stairs.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Saturday Night Fever, but it’s just me yelling, “Five, six, seven, eight!” while my cat lies down and refuses to participate.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,871

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Trending via Discord:

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Heard a recording of my own voice, and now I can never speak again.

Spotted on Threads:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Trending via Facebook:

If I’m ever in a coma, please pluck my chin hairs.

Going viral on TikTok:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like it's time for a three-course cardboard meal! 🥊📦😄

boxing, Boxing Day, called, day, eating, holiday, humor, joke, spend

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

0

2 months ago

cost, disappointment, endings, entertainment, finale, game, Game of Thrones, humor, lost, me, series, series finale, television, thrones
He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

0

2 months ago

commentary, equality, feminism, follows, gender, gender equality, gender roles, humor, humor quote, media, roles, satire, social, social commentary, social media, voice, voices, women
If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

0

2 months ago

call, humor, ignored, ignored call, irony, missed, missed call, phone, smart, smart phone, technology
Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

0

2 months ago

comedy, every, expenses, feel, finance, financial, financial frustration, frustration, humor, i, me, money, needs, own, reimbursement, somebody, spend, time, wallet
Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

0

2 months ago

air, air-drum, confidence, doing, epic, fun, hate, here, humor, imagine, just, me, music, over, performance, solo, tonight
Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

0

2 months ago

away, comedy, emotional, emotional suppression, feelings, health, humor, i, jokes, mental, mental health, replace, right, sarcasm, self-deprecation, sorry, suppression, wit

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on X this month:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

23 shares on WeChat this month:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

15 shares on YouTube this month:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

30 shares on Threads this month:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Planking is the only time we appreciate time.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Only 6 hours, 45 minutes and 35 years until I’m done with work.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

If a billionaire is telling you to vote for someone, it’s probably in your best interest to vote for the other person.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WeChat:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Going viral on Reddit:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Just landed via Instagram:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Seen just now on Discord:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Trending via Reddit:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

Making waves on Snapchat:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Just shared via Slack:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

Sorry, I had feelings. I’ll replace them with jokes right away.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨