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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

The introvert urge to leave a social event without saying goodbye to anyone.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Nobody will know you’re stoned if you’re always stoned.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,262

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

My favorite part of The Godfather is when the guy wakes up and screams because the Mafia has stolen the bottom half of the horse he keeps in his bed.

Trending via TikTok:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

Going viral on Instagram:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Summer is here. Always put on some suncream to help the rain run off.

Trending via YouTube:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Please solve a murder to prove you’re not a bot.

Spotted on YouTube:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Live now on Reddit:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Trying to get life advice from someone who's just as lost as the rest of us is like getting GPS directions from a raccoon! 🦝🗺️

advice, coach, confusion, Earth, experience, first time, humor, life, life coach, new, new experience, time, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

0

2 months ago

answer, email, emails, frustration, humor, i, outer, planet, rock, space, spinning, work
If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

0

2 months ago

bit, cuisine, culinary, dining, food, humor, i, recommend, sarcasm, something, sophisticated, tired, try, want, wit
Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

0

2 months ago

activity, appetite, carry, craving, cute, exaggeration, food, fun, fun activity, humor, invent, joke, mini, people, pizza, should, take
For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

0

2 months ago

away, dark, dark humor, expense, financial, humor, i, joke, money, passing, reasons
Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

0

2 months ago

always, autumn, beverage, coming, cozy, forget, forgetfulness, habits, hot, hot beverage, i, myself, seasonal, seasonal habits, self-care, tea, time, winter
You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

0

2 months ago

around, authority, bladder, boss, control, humor, independence, me

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

18 shares on Discord this month:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

Relationship rule: If the woman has told something and the man doesn’t remember, the man hasn’t listened. If the man has told something and the woman doesn’t remember, the man has never told it.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

97 shares on Pinterest this month:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

25 shares on Threads this month:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

98 shares on Slack this month:

Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

This economy requires two hustlers working together – not a hustler and a leech. It’s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Just landed via Facebook:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Shared recently on Slack:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Trending via Twitch:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Going bananas on Discord:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Making waves on TikTok:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Spotted on Instagram:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s our first time on Earth, so why are you a life coach?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

For financial reasons, I will be passing away.

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

You can’t boss me around. You’re not my bladder.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨