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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I talk to myself mostly because I am an excellent listener.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

301 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,570

Funny Quotes Topics

17,628

Funny Quotes Images

15,570

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,561

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Live now on X:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Spotted on Messenger:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Spotted on TikTok:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Spotted on Threads:

It’s crazy windy today. Trash is blowing everywhere, so watch out for your ex.

Going viral on Reddit:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Relatable! Only watching for the…plot development! 🍿👀

actors, anyone, attractive, let, normal, perfectly, stop, want, watch

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

2 months ago

apple, away, boredom, daily, daily routine, day, doctor, fun, humor, keep, keeps, routine, silly
A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

2 months ago

before, contribution, crypto, crypto trader, ethic, every, garbageman, humor, lifetime, lunch, op-ed, op-ed writer, single, society, trader, work, work ethic, writer
Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

2 months ago

always, dating, expectations, humor, intelligent, intelligent man, irony, know, love, man, marry, men, relationship, want, women
Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

4 months ago

anxiety, awkward, comfortable, introvert, just, mysterious, naturally, nonchalant, once, person, personality, social, social anxiety, talkative, unfortunately
Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

2 months ago

being, calm, calm down, fame, famous, humor, media, Monopoly, real, reality, rich, social, social media
I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

2 months ago

exhaustion, feelings, humor, Monday, point, resistance, where, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

89 shares on Slack this month:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

53 shares on Twitch this month:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

81 shares on Snapchat this month:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

18 shares on X this month:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Womansplaining is when a woman tries to explain to you what you’re thinking/feeling, and is just totally 100% wrong.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Going bananas on Messenger:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Live now on X:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Making waves on Instagram:

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Just shared via TikTok:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Just shared via Reddit:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Going bananas on Messenger:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨