Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?
  • Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.
  • One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.
  • Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.
  • Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.
  • The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.