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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I’m nearly qualified to be a weaver. My final exam is looming.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Making waves on YouTube:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

Spotted on Slack:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Going viral on WeChat:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Making waves on Threads:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Reported on X:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Spotted on Reddit:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.
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Commentary:
Looks like someone prefers bending the laws of nature over following their resolutions 😉🌿🔮 Embrace that wild and unstoppable energy! 🌀💫 #RuleBreaker

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

This meeting should’ve been a fist fight.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

You wish you had this many chins.

Going viral on Discord:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Going viral on Discord:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Reported on Instagram:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

You ever have one of those days that require the use of both of your middle fingers?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The eyes are the windows to the soul. A mustache is the front garden, and the mouth is that big pothole the council should do something about.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ve never seen a Cybertruck with anyone in the passenger seat.

Seen just now on X:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

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