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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Trending via Instagram:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

You can’t spell crypto without “cry”.

Shared recently on Slack:

Being gracefully unhinged is the only way to get through the everyday bullshit.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Just landed via Telegram:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Spotted on Twitch:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

2 months ago

0

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like those rebellious eyebrow hairs are plotting their own evil schemes! 👀🦹‍♂️ Better watch out for the rise of the eyebrow villain. Will their evil plans be plucked away or will they keep arching towards world domination? Only time (and a good pair of tweezers) will tell! 😂"

appearance, couple, eyebrow, eyebrow hair, hair, humor, me, personality, self-deprecation, villain, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

0

2 months ago

bag, chips, food, food joke, humor, i, joke, obsession, open, potato, potato chips, snack, snack obsession, tear, tearing, tearing open, third, vegetables
I will sit in the rain about this.

0

3 months ago

humor, i, patience, rain, sit, sitting, stubbornness, weather
Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

0

2 months ago

culture, grind, humor, media, modern, modern slang, parody, phrase, phrase parody, playful, pop, pop culture, slang, social, social media, sunshine, witty
I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

0

2 months ago

cold, health, humor, i, iron, know, low, low iron, me, survival, survive, winter
That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

0

2 months ago

doorbell, hiding, home, introvert, moment, not home, pretending, rings, sneak, tip, tip toe, toe, visitor, window
My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, chances, confidence, humor, image, life, self-deprecation, thigh

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on YouTube this month:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

72 shares on Threads this month:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

18 shares on Slack this month:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

73 shares on Reddit this month:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

24 shares on Messenger this month:

Parents will discover a movie on Netflix that you can’t even imagine.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

The real flex is becoming the woman he cannot run back to.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

An evil genius rising to a position of power is bad but it makes sense at least. Feels insulting we’re constantly seeing evil idiots doing it instead.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I turned 20, someone is always in Japan or Italy. Is it like this forever?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,351

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I was raised to be humble which I excel at cause I excel at everything.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Spotted on TikTok:

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I need a day off from myself.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Just landed via Twitch:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Trending via Pinterest:

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Freshly posted on X:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

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