Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Oh, so that's the secret to a peaceful night's sleep! 💤 Who needs lullabies when you have tranquilizers, right? 😂 Parenting level: expert tranquilizer-wrangler. 🌙 #ParentingHacks"

chloroform, exhaustion, humor, ID, kids, know, night, parenting, people, sleep, tranquilizers

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

2 months ago

commentary, equality, feminism, follows, gender, gender equality, gender roles, humor, humor quote, media, roles, satire, social, social commentary, social media, voice, voices, women
Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

2 months ago

clothing, humor, leg, legs, pale, pale leg, sensation, shorts, summer, sunlight, vampire, vampires
The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

2 months ago

existence, humor, medium, raw, sex, sexuality, well-done
A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

4 months ago

ass, both, door, doors, flirtation, flower, flowers, gentleman, hair, humor, man, relationship, soulmate
I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

6 months ago

anxiety, detail, every, got, great, humor, i, insomnia, know, middle, night, overthinking, problem, problems, review, sleep, wake, worry
What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

2 months ago

activity, advice, climbing, humor, mountain, nonsense, outdoors, people, risk, understand

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

43 shares on WeChat this month:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

61 shares on Threads this month:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

53 shares on X this month:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

59 shares on X this month:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

68 shares on Pinterest this month:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

63 shares on Discord this month:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

I thought you are the sunshine of my life, but you are just a meteor trying to destroy my world.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I’m sorry I mistook all our laughs, long nights, sweet texts, and inside jokes as you caring. I’ll think twice before wasting my time again.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Take one positive friend and one negative friend with you on your next road trip. That way when your battery dies, you can hook cables to them and start your car.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Shared recently on X:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Trending via Messenger:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m really glad that light only attracts insects. Imagine wild boars would come knocking at your windows all the time.

Going bananas on Threads:

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

He probably follows so many women because he believes in elevating their voices.

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨