I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Stop checking your phone every minute. No one loves you.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Hungry me has no respect for bathroom scale me.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I put my pants on just like everybody else: when the police tell me to.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.