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Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

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I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

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A little sign under the doorbell that says, โ€œthink twice, adventurer.โ€

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โ€œIโ€™ve had cigarettes that were better than entire years of my life.โ€

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When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

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Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

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Adulting in 3 words: itโ€™s always something.

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Iโ€™ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and Iโ€™d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Iโ€™ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and Iโ€™d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Commentary:
"Oh, so that's the secret to a peaceful night's sleep! ๐Ÿ’ค Who needs lullabies when you have tranquilizers, right? ๐Ÿ˜‚ Parenting level: expert tranquilizer-wrangler. ๐ŸŒ™ #ParentingHacks"



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