Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Maybe the real American dream is the debt we collected along the way.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Jan 5, 2026

3,629

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

Shared recently on Reddit:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Broadcasted on Slack:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Just shared via Facebook:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

Men be like “I would do anything for you,” and then do nothing.

Going viral on X:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Spotted on Messenger:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Spotted on Facebook:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

2 months ago

0

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Job applications out here asking 'how did you hear about us?' 🤔 Oh, was it supposed to be a top-secret mission to find a job? 🕵️‍♂️😂 Maybe they're just testing our detective skills while we're desperately searching for employment! 🔍🕵️‍♀️ #JobSearchMystery"

application, bro, hear, humor, job, job application, question, secret, us, why, workplace, workplace humor

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, door, doubt, everyday, everyday life, feel, forgetfulness, front, front door, hand, humor, i, life, locked, locking, staring, still, sure
You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

0

2 months ago

beginning, call, communication, following, i, internet, need, nostalgia, technology, web
Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

0

2 months ago

humor, imagine, introspection, irony, just, me, negativity, room, self-hate, self-reflection, solitude
Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

0

2 months ago

ask, bank, bonus, call, Christmas, humor, joke, money, small
I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

0

2 months ago

back, bro, chef, cooking, food, frustration, hate, humor, i, kitchen, later, meal, pan, recipe, something, staying, take, tell
Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

0

3 months ago

bro, humor, job, landlord, rent, sarcasm, tired

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

44 shares on X this month:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

31 shares on Telegram this month:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

34 shares on Slack this month:

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

32 shares on Slack this month:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m far too underqualified for adult life, and I feel like I was promoted to manager far too quickly.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The hottest thing a man can do is exactly what he said he was going to.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Asking “how’s the job hunt going?” is a lot like asking “did you come?” I promise you, you’d hear if there was any success.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how you get on Twitter, and all your thoughts are already in someone else’s tweet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

218 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,487

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,487

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,521

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

The first bowl of cereal makes you want a second, but the second makes you wish you stopped at the first.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Spotted on Discord:

Get off the apps. Sleep with someone in your friend group. Add an awkward tension every time you hang out with them.

Shared recently on X:

I hate it when I’m at work and someone asks “are you at free at the moment?”. Please expand further so I can know if I’m free or not.

Spotted on Reddit:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Seen just now on Slack:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Trending via WeChat:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

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